Painting: Oil on Canvas.

Painted: 1991

Size:

Owner: In Storage

Music Selection: “Jump” by Van Halen

This is not about suicide. This is a very personal painting. Nothing in it is what it appears to be. We all, at some time in our lives, take that big step. It can be for tremendous gain or total destruction. One step is all it takes. The old adage goes “The greater the risk the greater the return”, but the part they leave out is the greater the risk the greater the potential loss. Is it better to sit on your hands like the person in the window, or is it better to take the plunge? Many people look at this painting only to see a suicide. My hope is that this is simply a window that enables them to safely open and ponder their success or failure in life. Do you wonder what could have been? We build the world around us one brick at a time. My hope is that the viewer does not regret the road not taken or the path that they ultimately chose. Sometimes the plunge is leaving a marriage too soon or entering a marriage too soon. It could have been that once in a lifetime investment you chose not to make. How would your life have been different if you had made another choice.

When I first entered the business world, I had a close friend that lost a high paying job. He was highly intelligent. Things that I struggled with came easy to him. He chose to end his life by jumping off a bridge. He was selfish. He took his potential and turned it into dust. He ended our friendship with a cryptic unsatisfying note. He never knew the extent of the damage he inflicted upon his family, but I got to see it unfold. The last time I saw him, shortly before his death, he was at peace and calm because he had a plan. What I’ve learned over the course of my life is that sometimes what we think is the worst thing that could happen to us turns out to be a blessing because it forces us to change paths. I’m an old man now and can see these things more clearly.   Sometimes we are blinded by youth. I would lose several friends over the course of my youth and most of their deaths were senseless and preventable.

The background of this painting is not the normal chaos that I paint. It is a simple brick building with a few windows. Some are open. Some are bricked in never to be opened again while others are covered by boards that one could simply pry away from the opening if they chose to. One is open and dark. It is the path not taken. The question for the viewer is are you at the top of the building or are you about to meet the pavement below? Are you sitting in the window wondering what if? Are you watching this unfold from afar as a spectator? My hope is you are somewhere in the middle. Maybe looking back on your life is too painful, so you should just keep moving forward. Is there a boarded-up window that you need to rip open?